The second marriage is more successful

  • The second marriage may be more successful than the first


    The statistical data are disappointing: the second marriages diverge more often than the first ones. But the statistics is not a judgment. A therapist from the USA is certain: the older and wiser we are, the more we can learn from the unhappy marriage. And now you will learn new reasons that can make the second marriage more successful.


    1. You know better what you want to get from the relationship

    The experience has taught you a lot: now you know what a dynamic of the relationship for you is the most favorable. The second marriage gives you the opportunity to consider the experience from the beginning.


    2. The basis of your choice is the conscious choice

    When you first married, you might have doubts: was all that right? But you have decided you have made this step because of the sense of duty or the fear of being alone.


    3. You have learned to take responsibility

    If at least one of the partners is able to do that, the relationship can have its future. It is known that the response of one spouse directly affects the activity of the other's brain in conflict situations.


    Do not be afraid to apologize to your partner if you have done something wrong. So you show respect for the feelings of the other person and help you both to forgive and live on. Apologies can heal the soul pain of the loved one, even if you have unintentionally violated his or her feelings. When the partner discourages dissatisfaction and the feeling of unresolved conflict to avoid discussing, the enmity begins to accumulate.


    4. You can let you trust to your partner

    In a healthy relationship, you can trust the partner, share your thoughts and feelings with your half. Since you do not need to be looking for your half all the time, your everyday life will be calmer.


    5. You understand the importance of realistic expectations

    Love alone is not enough to change a person, their character and upbringing. For example, to feel more secure, it is important for you to get signs of the attention of a partner. If you are in love with a restrained person, you are likely to experience dissatisfaction and disappointment. In the second marriage, you have a chance to avoid these mistakes when you love your partner as they are.


    6. Instead of correcting the partner, you can change your own life

    Many of us are also focused on changing the partner rather than solving their problems. The energy that you have spent on these futile attempts in the past can now be sent to work on your own defects - this will help your relationship to benefit.


    7. You have learned to discuss problems in relations

    Trying to assert that there are no problems usually has the bad end. In your new marriage, you will most likely try to discuss immediately with your partner any doubts and fears that you have, and you will speak of your feelings, thoughts, and desires in a respectful manner. Now you are fighting with thoughts and beliefs that prevent you from forgetting old grievances.


    8. You learn to forgive daily

    Now you apologize to a partner when you need it and are ready to accept the apology of your half. It shows them that their feelings are worthy of respect, and it improves the atmosphere in the family. Forgiveness does not mean that you agree to the actions of your spouse that caused the pain, but it allows you both to leave the past behind and continue living.


    9. You are sure in choosing the partner

    You realize that the marriage will never be your only source of happiness, so do not give up your own dreams and ambitions and actively try to bring them to life. Nevertheless, the partner is important to you and you believe in your marriage.